Darcy Judges You
Darcy Judges You Summary
Darcy Judges You is a mobile iOS app in Entertainment by GORDON REID MACPHERSON. Released in Mar 2026 (recently released ago). Store metadata: updated Mar 31, 2026.
Store info: Last updated on App Store on Mar 31, 2026 .
0★
Ratings:
Screenshots
App Description
Darcy is a marmot. It lives on your phone. It does not like you.
Every time you open the app, Darcy delivers a brutally passive-aggressive insult — staring you down with the dead-eyed disappointment of a creature who expected more from humanity.
It blinks. It sighs. It roasts you into the ground.
FEATURES:
200+ handcrafted insults across multiple categories — sarcasm, backhanded compliments, existential observations, and pure unfiltered judgment
Photorealistic marmot powered by cinematic video — not a cartoon, not a filter, just a very real and very disappointed rodent
Record your own insults and let Darcy deliver them to your friends
Push notifications so Darcy can judge you even when you're not looking for it.
Share your favourite roasts — screenshot cards built for group chats and social media
No accounts, no cloud, no data collection — just you and a marmot who thinks you could do better.
Everything runs locally on your device. Darcy doesn't phone home. It doesn't need to. It already knows.
One purchase. No subscriptions. No in-app purchases. Just judgment.